S1 Ep 4: French Pressure

Episode 4- French Pressure

(Sound of Joe snoring for about 10 seconds, cut to Intro)

B: Hey. Officer Danes was it? Look is this really neccessary?

(On Bullhorn)

Officer Danes: Don't move sir. Stay back. We have cordoned you off for yours and everybodies safety.

B: Well I don't feel very safe! There's a bag of explosives literally right beside me, and you're not letting me move!

OD: As we've explained, any movement could set it off.

B: The bomb's a dud! Look I'm just gonna go, this has not been the relaxing day out that I'd hoped it would be.

OD: Sir, for your own personal safety we must demand that you remain still!

B: No, feck that. I'm going.

OD: Do not move! We will open fire!

B: What?! How is shooting me good for my personal safety! That's the least safe thing you could do!

OD: Just...stay there. The Bomb disposal squad are on their way. (quietly) Bryce you did call them right?

Officer Bryce: Oh crap!

B: (Cries) I used my holiday days for this!

....

(Sound of an intense inferno)

RR: Sonya! Sonya! Where are you? I can't see, there's so much smoke.

(Walking through the rubble, broken glass, wood and other material collapsing around her)

RR: I feel so much safer now than when I was at the Emerald Dragon!

(2 second pause)

RR: Not! Damn, this isn't how I was meant to go! I was going to die in a shootout, on a big pile of stolen cash! I'd take a few Inquisitors with me but, in the end a bullet to the head would finish it. I was going to be a folk hero! Now I'm just going to be another ex-child prostitute that died in a fire bombing!

S: RedBekka! Is that you?

RR: Sonya? What took you so long?

S: Hi to you too. Where did you go? You were right beside me?

RR: I ran for the door once the first bomb went off.

S: You ran the wrong way.

RR: Clearly!

S: C'mon, there's a fire exit in the Northeast section.

RR: How do you know?

S: I always check for emergency exits whenever I'm in an area large enough to hold more than 5 people...don't you?

RR: Oh my god you're such a loser.

S: Oh okay see you later so.

RR: No I'm sorry.

S: (Sighs) Follow me, don't get lost again.

(Both walking through the rubble)

RR: So, who do you think did it? The A.N.A, the Dead Presidents, Libra?

S: No, those explosions were incendiary...Firebombs. This is the work of the Puritans.

RR: The what now?

S: Puritans. They're what happens when you suppress religion to the extreme, instead of allowing people to make a choice about their own beliefs.

RR: Oh so they're Jesus Freaks? Got it.

S: No they're not. They have their own son of God, Calvin Olivier. They believe he's the Messiah.

RR: He sounds naughty.

S: The naughtiest. They're a cult, they burn non-believers...they think it purifies their souls.

RR: So that's what this was? A purification?

S: Seems like.

Merchant: Help me, please. My legs are burned, I can't walk.

RR: Hey, there's that guy that sold me the shitty switchblade.

Merchant: Please, ladies. I don't want to die here.

RR: Too fricken bad man. That's what you get for selling cheap crap.

S: RedBekka we can't just leave him!

Merchant: Please, the fire is growing. we do not have much time.

RR: I can't carry him. I'm too young and delicate.

S: Sir I can carry you, here put your arm around me.

Merchant: Ah, kind lady. Be careful, my legs ah!

S: He needs medical attention. C'mon RedBekka grab his feet.

RR: Ehhh.

S: Seriously?

RR: What? I'm in shock! My hands are shaking I could drop him. Plus his legs are all burnt and gross.

S: Oh good lord fine! I'll just have to carry him on my back.

RR: With those chicken legs?

S: You are really not helping. Okay Sonya, you've trained for this. On-field troop recovery was part of your first year Officer training. Lift with your legs-

Merchant: Ow!

S: Oh good lord you're heavy.

Merchant: It's probably the bricks in my pockets.

S: Why do you have bricks in your pockets!?

Merchant: Sanjay, that dirty thief. I throw them at him whenever he passes by.

RR: What did he steal?

Merchant: My wife.

S: Dump the pocket bricks please!

Merchant: Okay, they're out. Now, carry me please kind lady.

RR: You heard the man.

S: Oh god I should of just left you here.

RR: He's right there, Sonya.

S: I wasn't talking about him.

....

MA: And it was the removal and sudden and miraculous reattachment of his thumb to his hand that was considered his 17th Miracle. Now on to his 18th-

G: Ehm Sister Maryln-Anna, if I may?

MA: Yes?

G: While I'm finding your teachings about a man who is clearly not using basic magic tricks to fool impressionable individuals into pledging their lives to his maniacal vision of humanity extremely informative...I need to use the toilet.

MA: You may go where you sit my child.

G: You really don't want that Sister. See I've got a dose of the Whiskey sh-

J: Sugar! I left the oven on!

MA: No you didn't. you're both just trying to find ways to outsmart me. Well that's not going to work. It would appear that this sermon is meaningless.

G: No no no it's not! I feel repentant, spiritual...and a bit crampy, seriously I need to go.

J: And I've just remembered that I didn't leave the oven on! Phew close one I thought we'd all burn to death...oh wait.

MA: Okay, I shall continue. The 18th miracle of Calvin Olivier involved the levitation of...wait, what is that?

J: Frank! What are you doing here? Get out there's a bomb! Frank hates bombs.

MA: What manner of animal is this?

G: It's a Ferret.

MA: It's the shape of a demon. A hairy snake with legs!

J: Hey, don't say that about Frank, he's sensitive.

MA: I've never seen anything like this before in my life.

G: You've never seen...a ferret?

MA: Calvin Olivier keeps us safely hidden away in his glorious paradise aboard the Liberator. We are kept from the evils and corruptions of the world.

J: Frank isn't evil, or corrupt. He's a friendly ball of fur.

MA: Did he just bite you?

J: (holding back pain) No.

MA: You're bleeding.

J: That's...jam.

MA:Okay. So...the 18th Miracle.

....

Wyk (CW) : Just heard from central, there was a bombing in the market. First responders are en route. Peter, are any of your friends in the Market right now?

P: No, Gino and Jilly are chilling on the Green Horizon. Bernard is at a bar and Sonya and Becks went to see a Brass Band or something...I wasn't really paying attention.

CW: Okay Diedermeyer, I'm going to ask you again, where's the Corzaline?

LD: Up yours lawman, I ain't sayin' shit yo.

CW: (sighs) We know you're holding it in the house. Just talk, tell us where it is, and who supplied you.

LD: Nah man, I grew up on these streets man...I'm no snitch.

OC: Mr. Diedermeyer your father is an accountant. You grew up on the North Hill. The rich side of town.

LD: It's in...like my heart man.

P: Hey Captain Wyk?

CW: Yeah Peter?

P: Do you think he'd like to look at some of my art?

LD: What are you talking about fool?

P: Here look, I call this one Head, shoulders, peas and toes.

LD: Man that's stupid fool.

P: You're stupid!

CW: Peter, will you let me do the talking? I need to explain to Lawrence here what happens if he talks to us.

P: What happens if he talks?

CW: Well Peter, if he's a good boy, and gives us what we need, he'll spend the next 5 to 10 in a relative comfort in a minimum security Re-Education complex on Penthus.

P: And what if he stays quiet Cap?

CW: Well he can look forward to a lifelong stay in one of the Galaxies most exclusive winter retreats, Shatterfrost.

P: I heard of there. Your fingers fall off from frostbite because of the cold.

CW: Yeah. His toes will too, and his nose...eventually. The longer you stay there, the more the Bite takes from you. And you Mr. Diedermeyer, will be there for a very, very, very long time.

OC: He doesn't look too happy does he?

CW: No he doesn't Coombes. Do you know the kind of things they do to prisoners in Shatterfrost Lawrence?

LD: Stop, please.

CW: They get new meat, weak little bitches like you...and they throw them into rooms filled with hundreds of hungry, depraved rapists, murderers and cannibals...and they close the door behind them.

LD: I ain't...a rat man.

CW: A hole in the ground with just enough space for one person. They put a grate above you, so you can't climb out. In front of you is a pipe, that slowly fills the hole with water...it keeps going...until you're standing on your tippy toes...gasping for air. They keep you in there...for days.

LD: Please...

CW: Bus is outside waiting. You have 3 seconds to talk. Either way, we'll find the crush. 3...2...1...

LD: Floorboards! It's in the Floorboards! Over there man...the creaky one.

CW: Peter...if you would please.

(creaks, floorboards being taken up, bag being taken out, unzipped)

P: Bingo. That's alot of Corzaline.

CW: That's enough to get every crush head on New Geneva high as a fuckin' kite. Good job Lawrence. Now, who supplied you?

LD: That's the weirdest thing...they were Puritans.

CW: What? Those religious nuts? Bullshit.

LD: It's true. They sold it to me for a 10th of what it's worth too. They just wanted the money straight away.

CW: But why would...the Firebombings. They funded their campaign with smuggled crush, built the bombs here. Well Lawrence, looks like you've taken part in more than just a drug deal, you're a mass terrorist too.

LD: But we had a deal lawman. I'll do my time on Penthus, just like you said.

CW: Hey Coombes, take Mr. Diedermeyer to the bus please.

OC: Yes sir.

CW: And Lawrence? Say hi to my brother for me. He's a guard at Shatterfrost.

LD: What? No you can't do this to me! I'll die there! We had a deal!

CW: Yeah that's until you were accessory to terrorist activities. Enjoy the rest of your life asshole!

LD: (fading away) No! We had a deal! We had a deal!

....

(Intense inferno)

S: Okay...just...another few...hundred...more feet to the Fire Exit.

RR: You doing okay there Sonya? You're sweating pretty heavily there.

S: of coarse I'm sweating RedBekka, we're in the middle of an interno. Watch out!

(Burning timber falls and crashes near them)

RR: No, you're way sweatier than me or the Merhant you're carrying.

M: She's right, you're neck sweat is seeping through my robes, it's gross.

S: Don't...you...start!

(Gunshot)

RR: Holy Shit!

S: Fuck! Becks are you hit?

RR: I...I don't think so!

M: I am! Ow! Ow! Ow!

S: Where are you hit?

M: My ass! They shot me in the ass ah fuck!

S: Quick! Behind the rubble!

(They clamour behind a blown-out shop)

M: Ow! You dropped me you idiot!

RR: Where's the shooter?

S: I think I see him. He's walking through the fire...preaching?

(The shooters preach will occur simultaniously with a conversation between RedBekka and Sonya. The Shooters voice will grow louder and louder until he is finally shot.)

Shooter: Emerge sinners emerge! For I am your glory! Your salvation! If the fire has not burnt away your debauchery, allow for my rifle to cleanse your soul, and quench your burning desire to repeal your destrutive and selfish ways. Calvin Olivier preaches purity, and I am his vessel of love and forgiveness. My Rifle, the concentration of his will. Step forward, and be executed to salvation! We shall burn your remains, and immolate your spirit. I was but a boy when the Liberator found me, and a man I am now, a living monument to his glory- (Shot)

(While he is preaching and walked towards them)

S: Jesus they're psychos. I could try nailing him with one of these rocks-

RR: Here, use this.

(RedBekka deholsters a pistol)

S: You have two handguns?

RR: Sure let's say I have two.

S: More than two?

RR: Relax, half of them aren't even loaded! They're a deterrent.

S: Is this one loaded?

RR: This one? Very much so.

S: What if you had gotten caught bringing this on board?

RR: I would have just gone like (childish voice) oh please mister! I'm so sorry! This guy paid me to hide it! He said he'd give me a pony, and candy and my parents back! I'm so sorry I'm just a little girl. (normal voice) see?

S: You're a little sociopath.

RR: Thank you!

S: Okay, I have the shot.

Gunshot

S: He's down.

RR: Nice shot Sonya.

S: That's like the first compliment you've ever given me.

RR: The fact that you know that is incredibly sad.

S: I know. Okay Mr. Merchant let's...is he dead?

.....

(Sound of Bustling city)

CW: Peter?

P: Yeah captain?

CW: You okay?

P: Yeah I'm good. I just can't get what Diedermeyer said outta my head.

CW: Me too Peter. I mean, how did the Puritans get their hands on that much crush? How did they bring it into New Geneva? Is this just a couple of nutjobs trying to mess with the peace, or is this the herald of something far...worse?

P: What? No I was talking about him insulting my art.

CW: Oh. Look Peter, you did good today. Real good. The Guys I got well...you saw for yourself. They're barely qualified to deal with fender benders let alone drug raids....and this Puritan shit? Things are gonna get worse. There's a space on my squad if you want it.

P: Become a New Geneva Inquisitor? Don't I have to go to an academy or...Police school or something?

CW: Nah, your Terran Army training is enough. Plus I think today showed you're more than qualified. It's the Wild West out here Peter, I need good deputies.

P: Thanks Captain Wyk, but no. I've just met these awesome people aboard the Green Horizon. They're mostly Irish except for RedBekka whose Penthusian which for some reason I guess is an American accent-

CW: I understand Peter. Why give up a good thing? Well, good Job soldier. Glad to have worked with you.

P: You too cap.

CW: So, the paintings.

P: Yeah?

CW: Can I buy one?

P: (Gasps)

....

MA: And that is all the recorded Miracles of Calvin Olivier up to the Present Day.

J: Are...are you done?

MA: Yes good Sister. My sermon is complete.

G: Well those 180 miracles flew by.

J: I liked it. I thought you kinda deviated around the 134th Miracle, but you really brought me back there toward the end.

MA: Thank you sister. So, how do we feel about joining the Majesty of Calvin Olivier as he crusades through space delivering Purification?

J: Ah yeah sher I've nothing better to do!

G: Yep, yeah whatever as long as you don't blow us to bits.

MA: As understudy of the great messiah, I anoint you with holy protection.

G: What does that mean?

MA: The fires of sin cannot touch your pure flesh.

J: Does that mean I won't burn my fingers taking the teabag out of the cup now?

MA: Flame will no longer hurt you sister.

G: Hold on, you don't use a spoon?

J: There's never any washed Gino. What else am I supposed to do?

G: Wash one!

J: But the tea would go cold!

G: So you just put your manky fingers into my cup and fish out the teabag?

J: Manky? Excuse you!

G: A few months ago you got the flu and then a week later I got it. I blamed you but you said I must've gotten it from that Alchemelian Poledancer because you were so careful to not spread your sickness around. Did you use your fingers when making my tea?

J: I am so offended.

G: That's not an answer.

J: I refuse to answer because I'm so offended.

G: That's a yes. I had a great time with that dancer you know? I never called her back because I thought she was riddled. I wonder do I still have Bella Donna's number hanging about.

MA: Excuse me, but-

G: Hold on love we're doing a thing here. i can't believe you Jill. You know I really felt things for her. Human things.

J: Gino she was riddled. Just not with the flu.

G: She was a great ride too! Oh I can't believe this situation! Actually feck this...I'm calling her!

J:What?

G: Yeah what. I still have her number somewhere.

MA: Excuse me but...what does riddled mean?

(5 second silence)

G: You don't want to know.

J: STI's love.

MA:The devils hickey!

G: It's in this drawer here! (opens drawer) Aha!

MA: (gasps)

J: Gino! That's-

G: RedBekka's gun. This was but a clever ruse Marilyn, we needed to confuse you with our non-sensical argument to allow me to get to the gun which I'd hidden in the gross drawer so that Becks wouldn't find it.

J: I didn't know it was a trick.

G: Well I did kind of improvise it. I am genuinely upset that you don't use a spoon. But I'll deal with that later. Now, as for you...this is for spoiling my boxed wine party-

J: Gino you're not going to kill her?

G: No! Just shoot her in the leg! I'm not that nice a guy. Right, let's see if your blessings can make this bullet bounce off your tibia!

(Click)

G: Oh. It eh, would appear it's not loaded.

MA: You betrayer, usurper, hustler! I cannot believe I wasted my breath preaching the beautiful revelry of Calvin Olivier on your accursed ears. I shall do now what I should have done in the beginning, and set you all alight! For the Puritans! for Ca-

(Clang, body falling to the floor)

(extended silence)

G: The fucking Magic Percolator!

J: Magic Percolator!

G: Woooo!

J: Yeeeah!

G: Stealin' Whelans! I like it now!

J: Stealin' Whelans! Wooo-

.....

(Sound of roaring inferno)

S: Again (panting) So sorry...for...leaving you....behind. We...We...

RR: We thought you bought it.

M: If I hadn't regained consciousness I would've burned to death.

RR: Yeah well you woke up so build a bridge guy. Hey, there's the exit! C'mon Sonya, hurry up!

S: I'm going...as fast...as I can! Okay, Becka, open the door...please...my arms are dead...oh god.

RR: Fine...I have to do everything. Here you go your highness.

(Sound of door opening, busy triage center)

S: Excuse me...this man needs emergency attention.

Soldier: Stop right there! Hands up!

S: I'm holding-

Soldier: I said hands up! We will shoot!

S: Sorry guy. (body hitting floor)

Merchant: Ow, you bitch!

RR: Look we're not those Puritan guys. We survived the bombs. I just got lost...Sonya stayed back to find me.

S: Check your data logs. We're registered with the Green Horizon, well RedBekka and I are. We just passed an Inquisitorial inspection.

(Keyboard clacks and beeps)

Soldier: Okay, what about him?

S: He's one of the merchants. He's really hurt.

Soldier: Okay, Hey! We need assistance!

S: Why haven't you stormed the Market yet?

Soldier: Our cameras indicate multiple hostiles, we're about to initiate Omega protocol.

RR: What's that?

S: A controlled hull breach. They're gonna open the market to the vaccum of space.

Soldier: It will put out the fire and eliminate any hostiles.

S: What about the injured?

Soldier: This is our only option. We cannot risk any more lives. Now, if you'll excuse me.

(Trolley being wheeled over)

Medic: What are his injuries?

S: Significant lower body burns and gunshot wound to his-

RR: Ass. Haha! What? It's true!

Medic: Here, help me lift him.

(Merchant is lifted onto trolley)

Merchant: You saved my life. I cannot begin to repay you.

S: Well actually, I don't know if you remember this but...you sold me this switchblade that broke and-

Merchant: No refunds.

S: What? But you just said-

Merchant: No refunds.

Medic: I need to get him to an ER now, he's lost alot of blood.

S: Okay well, a bit more can't hurt.

(Smack)

Merchant: Ah!

RR: Holy crap.

Medic: Why did you do that!?

S: Because I'm a badass.

(extended silence)

S: Okay I feel like you need to understand the full context of the situation before you judge me for punching a man who's near death.

RR: She's teaching me to be tough.

Medic: Okay I'm getting someone from the Pylorian Order.

S: No, you don't understand the context.

RR: She bought me a knife to stab guys in the dick.

S: No! No I didn't! Sir, please don't- and he's gone. Thanks RedBekka.

RR: You're welcome. And for what's it's worth...that asshole deserved a punch.

S: He really did didn't he? Now, we really need to run.

RR: Gotcha.

....

Officer Danes: (on Bullhorn) Hey, hey Bernard?

B: What?

OD: Listen, bud. I just got word from the Bomb squad. They're going to be another 30...at least.

B: What?!

OD: But listen, it's fine because me and Officer Bryce here are going to stay with you the whole way? Isn't that right Officer Bryce?

OB: Sure is Danes. Hey, Bernard...Mondays amiright?

B: You know what? Feck this. Feck all of this. I am walking out of here right now.

OD: No, Bernard don't do it!

B: Feck em. Shoot me. I don't care I'm done. I'm coming over.

(footsteps on wooden floor)

OD: Oh wow! It didn't go off.

B: Of coarse it feckin didn't! It's a feckin dud-

(Explosion)

OD: Bryce?

OB: What?

OD: Are your ears ringing too?

OB: What? Hey guys are your ears ringing?

OD: What?

B: I suppose it wasn't a dud.

OD: Hey Bernard you nearly died. That's pretty funny!

B: How in the name of god are you two professional police officers?

....

G: Sonya! RedBekka! You wouldn't believe the day we've had!

S: I don't want to talk about it.

G: What?

RR: I need a smoke.

G: No.

RR: A drink.

G: No.

S: Give her a drink Gino.

G: What? Sonya no.

RR: Fine, I'm going to my room, I need to lie down.

S: Me too.

G: Ah what? But I had so much to tell yee. Up in the cockpit there's-

RR: Goodbye.

S: We'll explain later Gino.

(two sets of metal footsteps walking away)

G: But...we...magic percolator.

J: Don't worry Gino. Here comes Bernard.

G: Bernard! Guess what?

B: No.

(Metal footsteps walking away)

G: What is wrong with everyone?

Joe: Ah, good morning lads.

G: Joe! Thank fuck!

J: Joe, we had some adventure!

Joe: Oh yeah? What antics did ye get up to?

G: We'll show you! C'mon up to the cockpit with us!

(Three sets of metal footsteps, walking accross the ship, up the stairs)

(As they're walking)

G: It was mad Joe, there was this mad one, she had a bomb and, she did mass and everything. I tried to shoot her but there was no bullets so-

J: I walloped her with a Caffetiere!

Joe: Sounds like you had a fairly good session.

G: Yeah she's in here.

(metal footsteps approaching)

J: It was mad Joe, you should of been there.

Joe: Wish I was girl. Now g'wan, show me the toerag.

P: Oh, hey guys...I had a doozy of a day. I killed a bunch of drug dealers and Captain Wyk bought one of my pieces. He even offered me a job but I said no, I said-

G: Not now Peter.

(Door opening)

MA: You thought tying me up would keep me from fullfilling my destiny?

G: Oh no, she untied herself.

J: She has the bomb Gino.

MA: Burn! Burn heretics and be cleansed-

(Gunshot)

J: (Gasps)

Joe: Jesus Mary and Joseph.

G: Oh my god...Peter you-

P: Saved us? Yeah...that's what I told Captain Wyk. I need to be here to take care of you guys.

G: You Eejit! You absolute feckin' arsehole! There's blood and brains everywhere! Oh my god it's on the monitor! It's in the keyboards! (sound getting quieter, outro slowly growing in the background) Do you know how hard it is to get brains out of a keyboard? The Space bar's jammed. How am I going to write messages now? Like a fool that's how. This really takes the biscuit Peter! The biscuit, the cake the whole feckin...teapot. I'm docking your pay for this. Wait, I don't pay you. That's it, now you pay me. That's right, you're going to pay me everyday for however long it takes to get brain goo out of my leather recliner! Ahhh Peter her eyeball is on the steering wheel, I hate you Peter, I hate you!

Created By Paul Walsh

Cast

Kieran Walsh as Gino Whelan

Caoimhe Walsh as Sonya Halley

Amy Jackman as Jilly Whelan

Steven Stubbs as Bernard Dooley

Megan Walsh as RedBekka Roy

Paul Walsh as Peter Savage

&

Jack Bishop as Mortlock the Smuggler

Sound by Steven Stubbs

Recorded in the Forum, Waterford, Ireland.

Sound Effect Attribution

Freesfx.co.uk

Freesounds.org

Inspectorj- Destruction, wooden, A.wav

anechoix- Jazz_Music_Loop.Mp3

ddunkley- footsteps on metal.wav

Qubodup- Sci fi Laboratory Ambience

CosmicD- Engine_Hum_New.wav

redoper- rodger beep.mp3

MichaelKoehler- Knob Button tape deck cassette recorder mechanical

Freqman- Gym Duffle bag open and close.wav

Sandyrb- The Crash.wav

Quistard- Bag down 3.wav

Juskkidink- Nearby Explosion with Debris.wav

Music

Intro by Daniel Noronha (Mrthenoronha)

Retro Crime Movie Loop by Goran Andric (Zagi2)